I can't see how it has already been over a year since my transplant and since I have posted anything on here.
I apologize for the lapse nin time.
I have been blessed more than I can even really comprehend in my human mind. I do not think that I will ever be able to understand the magnitude of the gift that I was given from my donor and from my LORD.
I remember many times praying when it would all end and when I would finally receive "my" heart. Or why this had to happen to me. I have had many pity parties over the past few years especially when I was waiting.
I know now that I was sinning in doing this. How DARE I question God's will for my life...doesn't his word tell us over and over again that he knows what we need more than we do, and if we would only trust in HIM and His word that we would be rewarded??
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
I think that this verse has some added meaning to me than before. I used to stop at the end of verse 6, but why would I do that, if I keep on going it tells me to not try and know it all, do not try and fix it all. Do not be woe is me!!!! Trust in the Lord fear Him..this is what my body needs, it is what is nourishment to my physical and spiritual self.
I have had a good year, better than many in the past..only a few hospital trips and those were only a day or two at a time. So much better.
I will tell you what made me come to here today and start again, is the slap in the face of reality.....I had a good friend of mine that I met through Facebook while I was sick. She had a heart transplant in May of 2010. Megan was such a loving spirit, any time I had a wuestion or jut needed to be woe is me, she was always there to listen..and offer advice.
We talked very often, she was so excited with me when I was finally placed on the list in 2010.
She and I would chat on Facebook when I would be inthe hospital. (everytime)
Well yesterday my friend Megan went to be with our Lord. She left behind her very young daughter Audri, and her fiance Al. My heart breaks for them at their loss. I am also heartbroken for my loss. She was such a sweet soul. She will be greatly missed. I know that God had a hand in us meeting on Facebook, and I know that she is with him tonight.
I know that Megan heard "well done my good and faithful servant".
I WILL SEE MY FRIEND AGAIN!
I will not let it go another year..I think I need this more than any of the ones reading it does..so until next time..
Monday, August 22, 2011
1 Month Post Transplant!!!! Praise GOD!!!!
So here I am 1 month post Transplant!!! I never thought that the day would come that I would actually get "the call".
But here we are 1 month later, and I cannot tell you how much I am changed because of this gift that I have been given. Not only a gift that I have been given, but my family and friends also!! I think I am a totally new person in and out, literally!!
I am so thankful for my FATHER!!!! My Heavenly FATHER, has always been with me and he HEARS me when I cry to him!!!! I have always known this, however when you go through something as serious and scary as this, I think that it gives you a new outlook on our MAKER!
HE blesses us with so much every day, we don't always see it, but it and HE is always there.
I am looking forward to getting back to my volunteering so that I can do HIS work!! I know that he has blessed me for a reason! I am so excited that he wants ME to so this for HIM! I am not exactly sure yet what he wants of me other than to give others support and love while they are going through what I have went through, and to above all SHOW THEM HIM, AND HIS LOVE!!!!
I am doing really good as I type this, I am still getting stronger every day. I do have to take naps every so often, especially if I have done a lot the day before.
I have my 4th biopsy this Friday, all the other 3 have turned out great! After this one I get to wait a whole month before I have to have another one. I still have to get my blood done every Friday for the next 9 weeks or so, this is to check my prograf levels, which is one of my anti-rejection levels. They also check the regular stuff as well.
The kids started school today, and I will tell you that I am enjoying the time of quiet, it is nice to be here at home and be able to focus on GOD, and my readings, and not have kids screaming at me or each other!!!
I am so excited at this new life that is before us, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to have a second chance. I pray that I am able to Honor our LORD!!
I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26
But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. 1Peter 3:15
Saturday, July 30, 2011
On the other side!!
I am sorry that it has been a while since I last posted. It has been kinda chaotic..
If you do not know I have had my transplant!!!! I got the call last Thursday July 21, while I was on my way to church. I was on the phone with Travis and it was poring down rain.. I got another call as we were talking and I noticed that it was a blocked number.. My dr has always called me from private and blocked numbers, so I kinda thought that it might be him. Sure enough it was. He said that they had a heart for me, and wanted me to be at the hospital withinn the next hour.
So Travis met us at the house and we went ahead and took the kids on up to church, our small group and another small group that we have been with for a while all took the kids and prayed for me!!!! I was so thankful to have been able to see all of them before heading down to the hospital.
On the way I think Travis almost had 3 wrecks, I was praying at that moment that we would just make it.
When we got there they got me admitted right away, and I was in a wheel chair on my way up to 6 Cooley A to wait.
Dr. Kar came in and told me that everything was still a go, but that they still needed to look at the heart and make sure that it looked as good on the inside as it did on screen. SO we waited....waited... at about midnight they said that there was a false positive of Hepititis B and they had to ask me if I wanted to procede. I told him that I wanted to go forward with the surgery. He had told me that all the other organs had still been accepted and that there were 4 other patients ready to accept this heart if I was not..so I decieded to go ahead.
I think that it was finally about 1:30 0r so when they finally came and got me, I know that I had friends and family that weere there keeping me company. This really helped my mood.
I remember tellling everyone bye, and then then taking me on in the surgery room. They had given me a Xanex a little earlier so I was a little tired already. I had told Dr. Kar that I wanted to see him before they put me out, so we were waiting on him to come in and talk to me, and I was crying...the anesthesiologist was complaining that Dr. Kar was not there yet, (didn't he know we were on a time crunch), this made me even more nervous so I started ncrying more...I think that they gave me something cause I do not even remember talking to Dr.Kar, but I know that I did.
The next recollection I have was hearing voices talking to me...I knew all of these voices but could not open my eyes, and wanted what ever the heck was in my throat out!!!!!
So I had made it through the surgery!
I found out later that there was another scare that we may not get to go through with it due to the hepititis B, but after about an hour they confirmed that it was ok and it was still a go.
I was pretty out of it for the next day or so, I remember bits and peices of the days. On Sunday they moved me from CVR to the 12th floor, which is where I currently am at. I am doing well, but there are a few things that we are trying to get tweeked.
We are waiting for the reults of the biopsy that I had to have done on the heart yeaterday. I have to have these every week for the first 3 weeks and then every two weeks, and so on, and so on....
after they are ngative for a year I think that there is a blood test that they use to check for the rejection.
I also have an external pace maker attached, and it has been pacing me every now and then, so the dr is trying to decide whether or not he wants to put one in before I go home. I do not want this. I do not want to have to go through another surgery at all. But I know that he knows best.
So we should know more on Monday. I know that this is a lot of information, but I thought I would just let you all know how it was going.
I want to thank everyone for the prayers!!!!!!!!! This is all that is getting me through right now.
I am sorry if there are a lot of mispellings..
Sunday, July 10, 2011
July 9, 2011
I am continuing to wait for the call, and I am trying to do so with a sense of calm. It gets harder and harder to do day by day.
I was told by the doctors that I am anemic, and they started me on some iron pills this past Wednesday.
I have only had one evening where I felt a little icky, but it passed by morning.
They changed my pump out to a new pump on Tuesday because last Friday I felt really bad, and by the next day I realized that the pump had not been running for 13 hours and I was not receiving my medicine. No wonder I felt so bad.
I really honestly do not know how I managed without this medicine.
I am really hoping that we can be done with the transplant before school starts back up for the year. My daughter takes all of this pretty hard, and I really want her to have a good year. She is going into the 5th grade, and the last two years I have been in the hospital at the beginning of school. Hopefully not this year.
I know that all of this is hard on all of my family, but I really worry about the kids and how it is going to affect them in the long run. I know that all of this GOD has control over and it is one of those things that I need to let go of and trust that he loves them more than I ever could. (Even though that is hard to imagine.)
Once again thank you all for the continued prayers. Please keep them coming and ask that I get the call soon!
Also will you please lift up the donor and his/her family. I pray for them daily, but I wanted to enlist some of my prayer warriors on this also! Thank you so much!!
Love you all!!!!
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I had an appointment with one of the Transplant Dr's yesterday. Apparently you have to have an appointment with them all so that they know who you are. Or so that they can meet you.
Anyway it went really well. Dr. Delgado was his name and he was very nice. He told me that he knows that they have been telling me for a while now that it should not be long for my transplant, but that now that I am at a status 1B, that it should be soon.
After my blood work he said that I was a little anemic, and that I was a little malnourished, so we may start me on iron pills tomorrow when I see my regular dr., and that I needed to get some more protein. So I am once again drinking protein shakes.
He said that nothing was to bad that it would affect me getting the transplant if one came available, but that they want to keep all of my levels as stable as they can, so that I can recover quicker and easier from the surgery.
So please pray that the surgery is soon, however I still want it to be on the LORD's timing. HE KNOWS BEST!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
So I need to make a correction, this medicine only increases my status to a 1B, sorry for the wrong information.
I am doing well, I feel like I have a lot more energy in this medication.
I went to the hospital today to meet with the Heart Exchange for our support group, and I also went to the 14th floor where I was at and visited with my nurses. I love seeing them, and not having to make them work. They were all so amazed to see me up and moving around.
On another note, it has been so dry everywhere, as you all know. So I wanted to just THANK the LORD for anwered prayers and sending us some much needed rain. GOD is so faithful, I am so thankful to have him in my life. He is an awesome FATHER!!!
Please keep my reiend Sarah in your prayers as she will be having surgery this next Monday!!
Thank you for all your continued Prayers!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I got to come home yesterday, and I am so glad to be back.
I have realized though that as humans we are never satisfied no matter what we are asking for. I was wanting to be home from the hospital so bad, and now that I am here I find myself complaining because I am at home all day by myself.
Since I can't drive that leaves me stuck.
Why can't we be happy with what little blessings he gives us. I was praying as was everyone else that I would go home and He made that happen. (Albeit, with an IV pump) but I am home. Yet I still complain.
I think this is because we are meant to be somewhere else, and even though I love my family and friends dearly, and I thank GOD for every day that he allows me to wake up. I am ready to be in that place that I was created for, where I won't want for anything more than to just be in his presence and worship him for eternity.
Thank you for all of the prayers while I was in the hospital, I know that they are what got me home..
Please continue to pray that in his timing (hopefully soon) I will get the call for my transplant.
Love you all!! night