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I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone, and give you a heart of flesh.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I had my follow-up appointment on July 30th, and my Cardiologist has scheduled me for a stress test on the 10th of September. I go in at 8:30 and then I will see him at 11:15 that same day.

He wanted to wait a little while to give my body time to heal from this last round of procedures before he pushed it anymore.

He told us that he feels that I am already in the range to be put on the transplant list, however he wants me to heal, and give myself a little more time, and once the stress test is done, he suspects that he will be taking the next steps to start the process.

I just do not have words to describe the feeling that you would have just being told this. I do not know that anyone would want this! However we are aware that we have done everything else that is medically possible to try and allow me some more time, but it just isn't working.

I have had friends ask me how I feel with this current news that the doctor has given me, and I have told them and I will tell you, I DO NOT KNOW!
I have so many feelings that I do not know where to even begin to process them. I have prayed for PEACE, WISDOM, & COMFORT.

I know that the Lord has all of this under control, so I turn to him and ask that I not stray from the truth. That he is all that matters, not this disease, or the upcoming tests, or surgeries.

I pray that you all will help me to focus on him and not on what the future holds.

This is how I feel at times.....

"The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
Psalm 143:3-4

But I need to remember this....

"Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my HEART may fail,
but GOD is the strenght of my HEART
and my prtion forever.
Psalm 73:23-26

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