Another Change

As I right this blog I am sitting on the couch in my house all by myself. Today is Travis' birthday and he had to WORK.....I really did not want him to, but his company bought out another company and they are having to do inventory on all their stuff.
What a birthday right?? Happy Birthday to Travis!!!!
I am so thankful that 34 years ago today this world was blessed with your presence and that God knew I would need YOU to help me through life! I love you more than you know!!!!

Any way, I had my appointment yesterday, and it went well. As I told you I have been having headaches, pain, tightness....etc..
The Dr. said that I have fluid build up again and that we need to get it off. So he is increasing my lasix and Aldactone to double, and then he is wanting me to increase my Coureg on Monday, hoping that this will help my headaches.
If I continue to feel bad or if I get worse I have to call him..as of right now I have lost about 1/2 a pound of the 4 1/2 that I had extra as of yesterday. Until then I continue with the meds, and I go back to see him in 2 weeks.

So there is another change in meds, and we continue to wait for the call with the new heart. Does that not sound strange to you?? It does to me... I never in a million years would have thought that I would be praying for a new heart when I was 32. God sure has a way of using the weirdest of circumstances to give Glory to Him!!! Which I am so thankful for!!!

I could not handle all of my (changes) and waiting for the new heart if I were not trusting in HIS WILL and TIMING!!!!!!

Thank you again for all of the prayers!!!

Up coming Dr. app!

Well I will be going to the dr. tomorrow if I can stay out of the hospital until then!!!!
My dr. has been out of town this past week. I do not know about any of you who have dr's that you see on a regular basis, but for me I do not like seeing anyone but MY dr. I am not sure why this is, but I prefer to see him and my normal nurses!!
Maybe it is because they know me and my situation better than the others, and I know them. I just know that it is much more of a comfort to me to see Dr. Kar, and Maria....versus someone else..
Anyway as I told you in my last post I have not felt so great this week. I talked to my nurse yeaterday, because my as my weight had come down by 2lbs, I still had 2 extra lbs I needed to get rid of, so they had me take an extra of my lasix and of my other diuretic. As of yesterday around 4 in the afternoon I started having a feeling of tightness in my chest, it was not pain per say, but like someone was sqeezing me when I would take a deep breath. So I called them back and told them this. They told me that I should have started feeling better from taking the medicine, and to keep an eye on the pain. If it got worse to go to the ER, if it did not get worse and went away then just to call and let them know how my weight was today.
I got up around 11:30 today, and my weight was down an extra 1/2lb, so I still have about a lb and a 1/2 that is still there. They told me not to take any more of the extra meds, and to go in tomorrow, which I am already scheduled for.

Once again it is the eve before another app. For some reason I get a little anxious before I go to my apps. This all has been, and I am sure will continue to be a roller coaster of emotions!!!
Being the one that has to indure all of the pokes and tests, and whatever else that they decide to do, is hard.
But on the other hand I can not imagine what my kids and my husband and family and friends are feeling being on the other side of all of this.
I am sure that it is hard especially when you want to help and do not know what to do... I can understand that!!!! I have been there before!!!

So I for myself meditate on the scripture below!!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7

And for my kids, Travis, family, and friends this is the verse for you all!!

Prais be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God!!!! 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I hope and pray that the comfort that the Lord has shown me through all of you I am able to return it in some way!!!
I will let you know how the appointment goes!!!

I have had a not so great week as far as how I have been feeling. I have had a great week with all of my friends that faithfully support me, emotionally and physically. They all selflessly give of their time to sit with me, whether it be here at my house or with them at theirs.
I can not, and do not kow if there are even enough words to express what this means to me. I just pray and ask that some day you are all shown the same kindness and love that you have all shown to me!!!!

I got in trouble the other day from Travis. I had told him that my headaches have returned. He asked me if I had contacted the dr and told him of this and I told him no I had not. Well that was not what he wanted to hear. So the next morning (Monday) I called the office and talked to the nurse. They told me to continue taking tylenol, and to let her know if my weight goes up or anything else changes....so last night after I tried for the first time in 2 months to go to Bunco, I got home and I was having a pain when I would take deep breaths. Needless to say this morning when I weighed myself I was up 4lbs from yesterday. So once again that prompts another call to the dr office. My dr is out of town until Thursday, however the nurse is going to talk to the other dr that will be in, in the morning and call me back...I really get so tired of having to say that something else has changed, calling the dr, and just going through the whole process.

On another note, I have been reading Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. WOW what a heart wrenching, but Amazing book!!!!!! It is awesome to see how they were wonderful stewards of the LOVE of CHRIST during the circumstances that Satan tried to use to tear them apart.
I can only pray that this is somehow what my circumstances will bring about. I pray daily that I continue to look to HIS face, and not be drawn in by all of the "changes" that I have going on.
This is not something that is easily done, but it is something that I choose to do daily. I know that with GOD helping me his light will shine through at least some of the time!!!

I will leave with a few verses thatI read in the book.

Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.
1 Corinthians 4:2

The theif comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world! John 16:33

Making Space

We have been doing a new sermon series at church that is titled Making Space. We are also coordinating this with our small groups. We are given scriptures during the week to read, and as I was reading one of them yesterday for the 3rd time, I continued reading and did not stop at the end of the scripture that they had assigned.
I like how God speaks to me through his word. This is what I read.....

There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.
Do not pay attention to every word people say,
or you may hear your servant cursing you-
for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.
Ecclesiastes 7:20-22

This passage goes along with what I was posting the other day about the man that I encountered at Wal-Mart.
God reassured me that I am to continue praying for him, and that I need not take what people say so personally. (as I normally always do).
So if you are following this blog, I pray that you also read these scriptures and take them to heart, we never know what someone's intentions are behind what they say.
Always remember that we ourselves have judged others without knowing them, and anything past what we physically can see.

Until tomorrow..

How Rude!!!!

So yesterday I spent most of the day with my friend Sara. She brought me home around 3 or so. She had taken me to get Travis a Valentine card, but when I got home I accidently left it in her car!!!! I was very frustrated at myself.

So I decided that I had a little time before the kids got home, so I went to Walmart... (yes, yes, I know I am not supposed to do that) anyway I got him and the kids a card and some candy, then I proceeded to leave.
After I got to the car on my little electric cart, I got off and grabbed my 2 small bags, to put them in the car to leave..... I heard this guy say something that I thought I understood, but just in case I misunderstood, I said "excuse me" he tells me "you could at least limp and make yourself look like you need to use those" I told him "sir I have a heart disease"!! to which he replied " yeah sure you do". and then walked away.
I was shaking, and I got in the car and just started to cry.. I do not know why this made me feel so bad, but it did. I know that I have every right to be using the handicap spot and the cart, but it still bothered me.
I knew at some point I would get a dirty look, or something, but when this actually happened I could not understand why he was so rude to me.

I posted what happened on Facebook , and the emotions that it brought out of some of my closest friends and family was a little scary.. I know that they were all mad at what had happened to me as was I, but I went to bed last night feeling sorry for the man that had spoken so harshly to me.
I prayed for him last night and I will continue to do so, I do not know if he was angry because he was having a bad day, and thought that I was taking advantage of this luxury...but I know that he was put in my path to hurt my feelings so that I would pray for him!!!!
I know that I would trade him his parking spot anyday to be able to walk to the store and not be completely short of breath and tired. I would also trade him his parking spot for a new and healthy heart, but that is not how this works, so for now I will just trade the hurt feelings for a sense of humility, and I will pray for him, whoever he is.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven.
a time to be born, and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:10-11

Ally's Day!!!!

What a beautiful day it is for a heart transplant!!!
My friend Ally ( Allysa Smith Babineaux) Is getting a new heart right now!!!! This is such great news. She has been so sick, and I know that this has been a long and rough road for her and her family!!!
But as we all know she has been in God's hands and his timing is perfect!!!!! I am now praying that the Lord be with her during the surgery and that he guides the surgeon's hands and comfort the family, while they wait for news throughout the surgery.

I also want to lift up the amazing donor and donor family for allowing something so wonderful to come at such a time of loss for them. I can't imagine this, but it is an amzing display of Christ's love for us. There are so many that will be helped through their love. There just are not words to convey the grattitude we all feel. So Thank you whoever you are!!!!

As I said I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, if I am this excited about Ally getting her new heart I can't imagine what I will feel when the Lord says that it is my turn..but as for now I am rejoicing with her and her family!!!!!!

Thank you Lord for you are GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daily Grind, and Visitors

I am trying to keep everyone updated, so some of these posts may seem just random and repetitive.

I have been home now for a little over a week, I am doing ok, I still have some good days and some bad.. I had a rough night last night, I couldn't sleep and I was just not feeling that good.

I was able to go to church today. It was the first time that I actually went in my wheelchair, it was a little weird, but it helped me to not get as tired.

We got dinner tonight from Jennie and it was awesome!!!! Lizzie let Connor come over and play with Luke for the afternoon, so that he could get out of the house for a little while. I know that he really enjoyed himself. Thanks Ladies!!!!!

My mom left on Saturday morning and then my sister Michelle got here that afternoon, and she will be staying with me until Wednesday. I am so thankful that you all are willing to let me intrude on your daily lives so much, and you are all so willing to do whatever it takes to keep me home!!!!!

My day does not consist of much anymore....but as I learned today sometimes the Lord forces us to BE STILL!!!!! I am trying to listen to him and spend more time with him during the day, since I obviously do not have anywhere to be, and I can not do anything...what better way to spend the majority of my day than with my Father? I wonder if I am really that stubborn that this is what it took to get my attentiom , and to truly BE STILL?

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

Be still and know that I am GOD; I will be exalted among the nations, and I will be exalted in the earth. Psalms 46:10

Why ME????? WHY NOT ME????????

So I know that for a while I have asked why this is all happening to me, and not that I wanted to be all (woe is me) but I did ask...
I do not think that there is really an ANSWER to this question, but as I lay in bed last night I heard the LORD from somewhere ask me WHY NOT YOU????

I laid there and prayed that he would give me a heart that would honor him!!
I have come to think in this way now,
He chose me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have always known this, but it came to mean more last night..

WHY ME??????? Not that I am asking why do I have to go through this, but what is so good about me that HE would choose me to be a steward of his love?

He knew that I could handle this storm, because HE is with me, and HE will carry me when I am too weak!!
I have an amazing opportunity to show HIS LOVE, HIS STRENGTH, HIS HEALING, HIS SERVICE, HIS EVERYTHING!!!!!!
I am going to embrace this and I am going to praise him for choosing me!
I know that this is hard on not only me, but my family and friends, so I pray that they come to understand that this is a glorious blessing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ask that they learn to praise HIM in this storm, and no matter what this storm may bring...rain, thunder, black clouds, lightning. hail, that they continue to praise him and thank him for EVERYTHING!!!!!
I am FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE!!!!

The Lord will fullfill his purpose for me;
your love, O Lord, endures forever-do not abandon the works of your hands
Psalms 138:8


I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before on of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts O God!
How vast is the sum of thenm, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.
Psalms 139:14-18