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I will give you a new heart, and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone, and give you a heart of flesh.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Decision made!

Well today went well, I was able to talk to 7-8 patients and see what they all thought. All but one had good things to say about the pump, however I think the poor lady was more of a glass half empty instead of a glass half full kind of personality.

Even though I have made up my mind I am still quite nervous and scared, and worried, and whatever else you could put in that category. I am continuing to pray about this decision even though I have made up my mind I still want to look to my Father for re-assurance.

So the scariest thing that I found out today was that I could have quite a long hospital stay. Anywhere from 3 weeks to a few months, depending on how well my body reacts with the surgery and the pump itself. About half of the patients that I talked to have had a stroke due to the pump. However they will have me on medicine for this, actually I am currently already on that medication.

I will not be able to drive for a while, and honestly they would not want me driving at all, because of the airbag, if I where to get in a wreck, and the airbag deployed it would kill me instantly. If I ride in the passenger seat, we have to be able to turn the airbag off. I talked to another lady Allie (the bionic bride) and she said that she does drive, however not all the time, and not on long trips.

Travis and I have also decided that when the time comes and we are going to have the surgery, we want the kids to be there. I will see them before I go in for surgery, but not after, as I do not want to terrify them by what I will look like after. Some adults have a hard time handling that, I would not want a child to. Rebecca is already very emotional lately and sensitive, so I do not want to make things worse for her.

I am supposed to talk to my Dr tomorrow, he has my stress test results in so he is going to call me, and I will ask him how the process of scheduling the surgery goes, but as for now this is what I do know..
He will schedule for me to have another right heart catheterization, so that he can go in and check some of the pressures in my heart. He said he could do the surgery the next day after that. So it could be very soon...not sure though.
Travis wants it sooner rather than later, so that if I do have a long hospital stay I would still hopefully be out for the holidays. But, it is my body, and I am truly scared!!!!!! Knowing that it could be soon is even scarier!!!!

So as I leave this post, I continue to ask for prayer. I ask for prayer for peace, strength, comfort, healing, and protection.
Thank you to all of my wonderful friends and family who continually support me!!!!!!

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